Whoever said that beggars can’t be choosers obviously never saw someone bum a cigarette, put said cigarette in their mouth, and then realize it was a menthol.
If there is a movie you have seen that I have not and I express a desire to see said movie in the future, it is not necessary for you to tell me “oh, you gotta listen for the part when he says [fill in the blank]” or “man, you gotta watch the part when the one guys does [fill in the blank].” That is because when I watch movies, I automatically watch the action on the screen as well as pay attention to what is being said. Unless the movie requires specialized viewing instructions, I do not need any suggestions, hints or tips on how to watch moving pictures projected onto a wall while listening to synchronized sounds played over a speaker system.
It’s been hot and humid in NY for the past couple of months and, when the weather gets like that and you’re out and about, there is nothing better than stepping off of the sidewalk, out of the heat and into a store with nice, refreshing air conditioning.
After taking advantage of a store’s cool environment the other day, I went to leave when I noticed a guy behind me having a bit of trouble getting out of the store with his purchases so, as I left, I held the door open for him.
After the door had been open for a few seconds, one of the employees inside the store shouted “close the goddamned door! You’re lettin’ out all the air you stupid fuck!”
I was holding the door open for a guy in a wheelchair.
BBC News - The current state of the world financial markets, expansion of the U.S. missile defense system into the Czech Republic, and the upcoming olympic games.
CNN - Madonna may be the reason for Alex Rodriguez’s divorce! Let’s talk about it for an hour and a half!
I orginally only read the headline of this news story and, when I did, it made me mad - “what does a person’s sexual orientation have to do with his athletic ability?” I wondered. Then I read the whole thing and it made sense… but I’m sure I’m not the only person who was confused. Somewhere, a bunch of immature guys like me are giggling.
Because I like attempting to create an arbitrary number of things within an arbitrary amount of time, I have decided to take on the 50 song challenge which involves writing 50 songs within 90 days.
The quest begins tomorrow, and, since tomorrow is the 4th of July, I suppose it should be something patriotic. Wish me luck, and feel free to keep track of my progress (or lack thereof).
I don’t think I’ll ever bring myself to ordering “Video On-Demand” because honestly, I don’t think I’m that demanding. If I’m going to demand something, it’ll be something important, like “hey, I’ve been doused with gasoline and set on fire! I demand that someone extinguish these flames!… if it wouldn’t be too much trouble.”
I am never, on the other hand, ever going to say “I demand to see Failure to Launch RIGHT NOW.”
