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Today is November 30th, the final day of NaNoWriMo. Unfortunately, I have been unable to reach the goal of 50,000 words; my 13,344 words leaves me short of the mark by 36,656 words, and I don’t believe I will be able to make up that difference in one day. Though I did not succeed in my task, I did learn several very important lessons.

1. Giving titles to your chapters is an easy way to inflate your word count.
2. When attempting to write something this lengthy while maintaining a coherent story, for God’s sake write an outline. National Novel Writing Month is great because it’s only worried about quantity, not quality. You can’t get the quantity, though, if you have no idea where your story is going. It’s kind of like planning a trip: the longer your journey, the more planning you have to do if you want to get anywhere. I can walk to the store on the corner with relatively little guidance but if I’m going to hike from my apartment to Vermont, I’m sure as hell going to need a map or something.
   I thought I could just make stuff up as I went along - this plan worked fine until chapter 3 when I didn’t know where any of it was going. Panicked, I just started throwing different characters into the mix, hoping it would spark something. It didn’t; in fact, it just made things more directionless and muddled. Incidentally, that’s how my unfinished novel ended up with werewolves, ninjas, superheroes, vampires, and Jesus in it.
3. Making your characters have pointless conversations that go on far too long is an easy way to inflate your word count.
4. So is using as many adjectives as possible, regardless of whether or not they are necessary.

Once again, National Novel Writing Month has claimed me as a victim. Oh well. There’s always next year… as well as Scriptfrenzy. If I can’t get a novel done in a month, maybe I can finish a screenplay.

I woke up this morning to the sound of my alarm clock buzzing. As I turned it off, I thought to myself “Why did I set my alarm for Saturday?” A few minutes later, after trying to get back to sleep, it dawned on me that it was only Tuesday.

It’s going to be a long week.

A couple of weeks ago, I was walking down the street when I saw an agitated young man stumbling around on the sidewalk screaming “I hate Chinese people! I hate Chinese people!” at no one in particular.

The funniest part of this anecdote is that I immediately forgot about it and didn’t remember it until just now. When stuff like this barely registers on my radar, I realize that I’m starting to get used to living in these parts.

It seems that my four-legged beagle buddy has been adopted. Awesome.

At the gym yesterday I caught highlights from something I haven’t watched in a long time – the World’s Strongest Man competition. Watching those huge burly guys drag pickup trucks, lift tires and throw beer kegs over walls inspired me to keep running on the treadmill for an extra 40 seconds.

According to CNN (shower of said highlights), the winner of the competition wins 2,732 US dollars. Doesn’t that seem like a paltry amount to give the World’s Strongest Man? I’d be afraid he be upset with such a pathetic sum and snap me in half with his ring finger.

This is the view that greeted me on Sunday morning – about 80 billion participants in the New York City marathon running across the bridge I cross every morning on my way to work. To all those who managed to finish the 26.2 miles, I salute you. Maybe I should run next year. That would be badass.

In other news, my current marathon (the novel) is proceeding according to plan which means I’m horribly behind on my wordcount – I have no excuses. I still guarantee victory by the end of the month.

Today begins the novel writing adventure. I have my main character, Frank, and my real-life friend Forrest wants to make a cameo. With these two elements, I sent off on my fool’s crusade.

Only 50,000 words to go…