henrydo.net

For your holiday enjoyment, here is a special Christmas edition of my Podcast. Click here to watch it on Youtube.

Subscribe to the Podcast

Before today, my Podcast wasn’t officially a Podcast because you couldn’t subscribe to it in iTunes. But that was the past. Today, thanks to my overabundance of free time, I officially have a Podcast. Do you have iTunes? Want to subscribe? Then follow these easy instructions.

Click here. That’s pretty much it.

Want to do it manually? Then open up iTunes and look up at the top of the screen. See that menu item that says advanced? Click on it and select the “Subscribe to Podcast” setting. In the box that pops up, copy and paste this link all up in there:

feed://feeds.feedburner.com/henrydopodcast

And that’s it. Rad. Since these are video files you’ll be downloading, they’re going to be pretty big so if you’re on a dialup connection, I suggest not subscribing to the Podcast. And in other news, what the hell are you still doing with dialup?

And if you don’t have iTunes, don’t worry - I’ll still post the videos on YouTube and GoogleVideo so you won’t miss out on any of the super important stuff like me staring blankly at the camera.

Ever since I was a child I dreamed of having my own Podcast. Today, that dream comes true. May this Podcast bring you joy and happiness.

(For those of you who prefer watching videos on YouTube, you can just go ahead and click here.)

Since I have not yet been able to get internet hooked up at my apartment, I spend my Saturday mornings here at the Brooklyn Public Library in Greenpoint with my laptop and their free wireless internet. It’s a match made in heaven.

While wasting time on Myspace, I overheard this conversation behind me:

“Why did you steal my newspaper?”
“Excuse me?”
“Why the hell did you steal my newspaper?”
“I’m sorry, I thought it was the library’s newspaper.”
“Why did you steal my paper?”
“I didn’t know, I thought it was the library’s copy. I apologize.”
“Why did you steal my paper? That’s my paper.”
“Here, take your paper. I didn’t know it was yours.”
“Why did you steal my paper? Don’t steal my paper.”

This conversation is still going on as I type. If these guys fight, it will be the second-most pointless brawl I’ve ever seen in my life.

I dreamt that I went to Mexico and befriended a Mexican dude. Then, for some reason, I was handed a scythe and forced to fight him in a duel to the death. Also, I spoke fluent Spanish which was pretty cool.

I think my subconscious mind is insane.

Today I underwent my annual fitness evaluation at the gym. According to the results, I have gained 14 pounds since last year. Not many people work out at the gym for a year and gain weight, but somehow I found a way. I am quite the miracle-worker.

For the eleven-billionth time in my life, I dreamt that my teeth started falling out. I’m sure this is my subconscious brain’s way of trying to tell me something. If only I could figure out just what that “something” is.

Today, the NYC health board banned the use of unhealthful artificial trans fats in restaurants. In an effort to improve the health of New Yorkers everywhere, the following items will soon be banned from the city as well:

• Cigarettes - Smoking them can lead to the development of lung cancer
• Buses - Getting hit by one can mess you up good
• Babies - They make a lot of noise and foul smelling messes, thus increasing the level of stress in everyone in the general vicinity
• Rain - Responsible for the formation of puddles on the ground into which passers-by can fall face-first and drown
• Sunlight - Overexposure to it can cause melanoma
• Books - Reading them in low-light conditions can have an adverse effect on your eyesight
• Celery and Carrots - You can choke on them and die
• Guns - I can’t think of a single good reason these things should be banned

I feel safer already.